KIDS OF AMERICA
I wrote a screenplay when I was 12 years old. I really thought it was good, when I was 12 years old. Apparently you realize how awful of a 12 year old writer you are right about now. I was just googling my name for hours. Like always and I stumbled upon this little bad boy, that I FORGOT I WROTE! So I didn't edit this at all, this is how I wrote it. No edits. This is raw!
Sean O'Connor's Kids of America
Kids of America
by
Sean O'Connor
Kids of America
(Scene opens to a Basketball court in the middle of a DriveWay. You
see one kid who is just passing the ball and one that's shooting. Then
steps in another who picks up the ball.)
Kenny: Hey Dudes.
Seth: Yo Duder.
Randy: Dudes, Stop it with the dudes.
Kenny:No Dude.
Seth: Dude. Dude, Dude stop it dude.
Randy: Narly Dude. But don't you think it would be cool if we ever
made it into Pro Sports.
Kenny: No. Dude.
Randy: Didn't you ever want to be in Sports Dude??
Seth: Yes, Yes, a long long time ago. When I was a young boy.
Kenny: Ok Dude. I'm gonna be like um... there.
Randy: If Garbage and Hootie And The Blowfish mixed together they
would be Hootie's Garbage is BloWFISH.
Seth: Otay. So is this what all normal kid's do?
Kenny: Well Dude, I don't know.
Randy: Of Course, were actually some of the smartest kids though.
Randy: Then again.
(Scene changes to a park)
Seth: Waz up Homeys??
Amber: Shut Up Seth.
Kenny: Did you know toast is hot??
Randy: Too Be or not To Be.. Thereforth a Fair Maide who stands there......
Seth: Where for my dout Romeo?
Amber: No.
Kenny: If my name began with a J I would be Jenny. Also if i was
purple I would be sick.
Seth:I got a 139 IQ.
Kenny: I got #1 IQ. I'm #1. I'm #1. Kenny RUlez.
Randy: Kenny Rulez.
Amber: Hey Seth wanna go to a Movie??
Seth: Would I??
Amber: That's what I want to know.
Seth: Your all morons. You are.
Jack: Super Dee Duper. Hey Hey My Fabuloso Peoples. I'm Buff, I'm The
Stuff, and Hey What's my line again.
Randy: Everybody's a Suspect. I Spy The Friendly Skies, In order to
have some pie. In the eye.
Kenny: Don't Lie.
Randy: I.. I.. Fly!!
Randy: Amber would you go out with me??
Amber: Um... No.
Randy: Lika Lika Lika OUCH!!
Kenny: Ouchie ouchie Tamagootchie!!
Randy:Woodstock Baby!! 3 Days of Mad Cool Rock and Roll and Shagadelic
VIbes Baby Yeah!!
Seth: You guys are stupid did you know that??
Both: Stupid Is as Stupid Does Sir.
Amber: Pyschos. Losers. Pure Losers.
Seth: Exactly, Exactly my point. Now that you 2 morons are occupied
how about we have a fiesta tonight.
Randy: Huh?
Kenny: The square root of 44 is 11 equaled into the isosles of a
square that turns into a angle.
Amber: Like um.. no. Like as if Kenny. Kenny you are such a moron like Whatever!
Randy: Hehe she said Az if. Alright Alicia.
Amber: You really think so.
Randy: Whatever.
Seth: Did you notice all of the people staring at us we've been
sitting here talk for like ever.
Tiffany: Like Hey, Amber.
Randy: Howdy Ho Tiffy.
Tiffany: Get away from ME Creep.
Kenny: Hey Sup Dude??
Tiffany: I am not a Dude. Do I look like a Dude I think not loser boy
get away from me. LOSER!!
Seth: Hey Tiffany.
Tiffany: Hey Seth. How can you hang with these dopes.
Randy: I am not a DRUG!! Leave me alone. I am Batman.
Kenny: I am Superman. Up Up and Away!!!
Randy: It's a Bird, It's a Plan It's Super DUDE Man. DUDE!!
Seth: I don't know I really don't know why I hang with them.
Kenny: Seth because me and you are buddys.
Randy: Budday. Budday. Budday.
Kenny: Budday Budday Stop It Budday. Are you my Budday Budday??
Randy: Budday.
Amber: ENOUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Randy: Ahhhhhhh!!!
Seth:
Amber: What??
Seth: Show Me!!
Tiffany: You know Amber, like we are going to taht party tonight. And
we must pick up Cici.
Amber: Like For Sure.
Randy:
Tiffany:
taking so much Prozak.
Kenny: Party Party, Did somebody say Party?? And how come I didn't
hear about this??
Tiffany: Because you weren't invited.
Kenny & Randy: PLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS
Kenny: Ice Ice Baby Do Do Dood Do Do Do. Now Check It Spin It while my
DJ Recalls it.
Randy: You Got The Right Stuff Baby!!!
Tiffany & Amber: NEVER!! Oh like alright.
(Randy & Kenny was moonwalking through the crowds of people)
Seth: Kenny & Randy quit making fools of yourself.
Tiffany: That's what they do best.
Cici: Like Hi Tiffy and Amber. Hi Seth. What are they doing here??
Randy: X-Files Episode 209.
Kenny: No Definetly 101.
Randy: No it's the one where the Alien comes down to earth and kidnaps
Gillian Anderson.
Kenny: No. I'm right on this one it's 101. When David Duchovney
realizes he's a guy.
Randy: Good Point. Shall we move on.
Randy: Hey John.
John: Sup Randy.
Randy: Not your fly. Hehe.
Kenny: Sup Joey??
Joey: Nothin Homie.
Kenny: Step away. Are you Wyclef??
Joey: Heck no.
Randy: What's my motivation.
CiCi: TO Get The
Randy: WOW!!!
Kenny: YEA. Hear that language honey??
GIrl: Do I know you??
Kenny: NO!!!
Girl: Then get away from me upchuck.
Kenny:
Girl: CALL 911 THIS PERV Won't Leave ME ALONE!!!
Randy: I know You Wanna Get With ME!!!
Tiff: Talk to the Hand.
Cici: Oh My Gawd. I can't believe these creeps. KLenny & Randy gotta go.
Randy: I don't gotta go to the bathroom.
Cici: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
Kenny: She thinks she's an animal. I love this Game. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Randy: I know your a Chicken..
Kenny: No Stupid I'm a Dog. MOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Randy: Right Chickens go Rough Rough.
Seth: Hey Cici.
Cici: Like Hey Seth. You gotta get rid of those imbusles.
Seth: No can do.
Tiffany: Seth is looking FINE!!
Amber: Yuck!
Seth: Amber is Looking FINE!!!
Kenny: Yuck!!
Randy: Hey I think that she's pretty.
Seth: That's a card board cut-up.
Kenny: DIBS!!
Amber: I am going to ask that guy out.
Vinnie: Hey Hey CHick.
Amber: What's up??
Vinnie: Wanna dance??
Amber: Yea with that Cute Guy over there.
Amber: Hey Randy.
Randy: This is a Bunch of Tree Huggin Hippy Crap.
Amber: Randy sup??
Randy: I hate School.
Amber: Randy??
Randy: Hey Kenny.
Kenny: No your not getting it.
Randy: Stop Ouch. That hurts.
Kenny: Haha. Loser. It's all MINE ALL MINE. Right Seth??
Seth: huh??
Kenny: Hey.
Jamie: HiYa.
Kenny: Like you are cool.
Jamie: Like you are like cool too.
Joey: Hey Kenny remember when you puked 4th Grade:
Jamie: Bye.
Kenny: Remember when I kicked your butt.
Joey: No.
Kenny: How about now??
Seth: FIGHT!!!
Cici: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not in my house.
Seth: Hehe COOL.
Randy: I've never seen this side of you Seth.
Seth: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAY.
Amber: I think he's drunk.
Tiffany: He definetly is.
Kenny: Could be??
Randy: Might be.
Kenny: HOME RUN!!! He's drunk.
Tiffany: Geeze, I liked him too.
Seth: Hey guys don't you hate De Ja Vu??
Seth: Hey guys don't you hate De Ja Vu??
Kenny: Like so like what's up??
Kenny:Ummmmmm This taffy smells wonderful.
Amber: That's nice.
Randy: Hey I got an idea for a movie. "A girl mom dies, and she gets sad."
Tiffany: GET AWAY FROM ME!!
Kenny :Points in the air: DUDE THAT COULD WIN AN OSCAR! Man.
Randy: Hey CIci.
Cici: Step away.
Randy: Please like I just need to know where the bathroom is?
Cici: That's it get OUT OF MY PARTY!! YOU AND KENNY!!!
Kenny: What??
:People all staring at them:
Both: We Know What Your Thinking. Were not gonna do what we all think
were gonna do. FLIPPPPP OUT MAAAAN!!! :Going nuts:
Randy: Now Who's Coming with US??
US?? C'mon Who is COming With Us??
:Some girl rasies her hand:
Kenny: Thank You Whatever Your name Is? Thank You.
Jennifer: Like Would you go out with me?
Kenny: NOPE I'm A Homo A BIG ONE!!!
Jennifer: Ewww!!
KENNY: WHO ELSE IS COMING WITH US??
:Some gay guy raises his hand:
Randy: You don't qualify Gay Guy. WHo Else Is COming With Us??
:They all start partying again.:
Kenny: Talk about your all time biggest backfires.
Randy: I feel unwanted :(
Kenny: Where's Seth??
Randy: Don't know don't care.
Kenny: He went to the other side.
Randy: The Dark Side.
Kenny: Wanna go home and go on America online??
Randy: Sure why not? I hear that Bigbuns11 is in Teen Chat 101.
Kenny: Oh Yea Sweet buns!!
Randy: Bill Clinton called Monica Lewinsky that.
Kenny: Dude that's not in the script.
Kenny: Hmmm that's intresting. I gotta do WHAT???
Randy: Yea it is. Oh No that's when I get a......... Arrested.
Kenny: And yea and that's when I got Lay's Potato Chips You Can't Just Eat One.
Randy: That's a good chip
Amber: You guys haven't left yet??
Randy: We don't have any money or transportation and a Monkey stole my Pants!!
Kenny: The monkey ain't going near dese babies!!
Amber: That's because your wereing nothing.
Amber: Randy I'll get you pants.
Randy: Man I felt the pretty breeze.
AmbeR: Sickness.
Kenny: Puking.
Randy: Hurling.
AmbeR: Disgusting both of you. Better clean up your acts.
Kenny: We take Showers. At least one of us does.
Randy: That can not be proven in a court of law. My Dawg, Yea that's
it crawled all over these shorts. Yea that's it.
Kenny: Welcome to Jurassic Park, Tiffany!!
Tiffany: Welcome to my Foot in your nuts.
Randy: Haha.
Randy: MY NUTS.
Kenny: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
Randy: Dork!!
Kenny: She kicked us in the JUNK!!
Amber: Losers.
Tiffany: When are they gonna learn that girls rule??
Randy: (British Accent) Girl Power!! Spice Girls. I am so Sporty!! Emma!
Kenny: (In British Accent) I am too Posh. Girl Power fight for your
liberal rights.
Amber: They are so stupid.
Randy: No were not.
Kenny: I didn't spend 7 Years in Kindergarten because I WAS STUPID!!!
Randy: Kenny you didn't spend 7 years in Kindergarten.
Kenny: Shut up Randy.
Tiffany: Why don't we go get those hot guys in there to dance with us?
Randy: Do you have to mention in there??
Tiffany: Can we go IN THERE??
Randy: Don't care. One day oh yes I will meet Jim Breuer.
Amber: Weirdo.
Kenny: Weirdo.
Randy: Weirdo.
Tiffany: Dorks.
Kenny: You ruined it.
Tiffany: So what?
Randy: Look who it is? It's SETH.
Kenny: Hey Trader. Oops I mean Seth.
Randy: Good one.
Seth: I was just chillen inside for a lil'.
Randy: OK Busta Ryhmes!!
Kenny: Seth you hate us right?
Randy: WHY?
Kenny: WHY?
Seth: No why?
Kenny: Just felt like saying WHY!!
Seth: I outtie Yo.
:Party scene ends:
Roy: Hey guys.
Kenny: Hey.
Roy: What's wrong with Randy?
Kenny: Randy's X-Files Calender Surprisingly Disappeared.
Randy: Man.
Roy: Oh Man good thing I got mine all nice and snuggled.
Randy: Ahhhh!!
Kenny: Poor thing.
Roy: Have you seen Seth?
Kenny: Not since the parrrrrrrrrrtaaaaaaaaay!!
Randy: I saw him leave in a STRAAAAAAAANGE Black Van. Never saw it
before. And I think he has my calender.
Roy: Hmmmm..... Let's try to look for him. Ahhh he's probaly sleeping.
Jack: Hey guys.
Jack: What was the emergency?
Kenny: Jack what's with the PJ's?
Jack: Hey I didn't come here to get made fun of.
Randy: Jack, Why don't you go home to get changed.
:Jack starts running.:
:Roy, Kenny and Randy run over to him:
Kenny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Roy: WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?
Randy: Hehe Cool.
Roy: Jack you alright? That seemed like it hurt.
Jack: Mommy I don't wanna go to school I didn't do my homework.
Randy: Duh!! He tells his mom he doesn't do his homework he's a bad liar.
Kenny: Shut Up Dude. He might have broken a nail.
Jack: Dude I am alright.
:Phone rings.:
Roy: Hello.
Strange Voice: I'm not interupting anything am I?
Roy: Randy umm.. it's for you.
Randy: Umm.. Hello.
Strange Voice: Do you know who this is?
Randy: Umm.. Could it be Lamb Chop? You finally returned my letters
and stuff. Thank You.
Strange Voice: We got your friend. He'll be dead in less then 48 Hours
if you don't give us the Card.
Randy: What Card?
Strange Voice: YOUR Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card.
Randy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Roy you take it. :Crying:
Roy: Listen up, Dork. Don't threaten my friends.
Seth: Oooooowwwwwwww!! He's got me. Give him all he wants.
Strange Voice: Meet me at the Beach at 12. In 48 Hours.
:Amber, Tiffany, and CiCi walk over.:
Amber: What happened to Randy? He is like in tears.
Randy: They want my Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card. Who cares about Seth?
Tiffany: Where's Seth?
Roy: He's been kidnapped.
Kenny: We gotta find him.
:FLashes over to The Evil Doctor's Lair.:
Dr.McGroin: Haha I knew it would work. Now I would get the Card. And I
can sell it for 1 billion dollars. Hahaha. Seth why aren't you touchin
your food. It's only Macaroni and RATS.
Seth: Dude let me go and I'll get you a Griffey Rookie.
Dr.McGroin: I don't want yours. I want. I want.
Seth: You don't know what you want.
Dr.McGroin: So. I want money. Money money. I love money. And Seth you
will attract alot of that.
:Flashes back to the park.:
TIffany: *69.
Amber: Hello is like Seth there?
Dr.McGroin: Yes he is.
Kenny: I want Seth back you dirty little......
Amber: Mr...
Dr.McGroin: My name Holden. Holden McGroin and you call me Mr. I
didn't spend 7 Years in Medical School to be called Mr.
Amber: Sorry, I just wanted to know. Can we give you money for you to
release Seth?
Roy: Let me talk to Holden McGroin. Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahha
Dr.McGroin: Oh if it isn't the Next Sherlock Holmes Roy Zario. Roy I
am familiar with your work. Like the time you found out I blew up the
whole darn City. Roy for only 13 Years old you are smart. But this ia
my smartest move yet. Hahaha.
Roy: Listen up Holden. I hate you and you hate me. But I know Seth we
are cousins. I am not gonna let you take him away. Now I will give you
300 dollers for him back. Now you better do it or your dead.
Dr.McGroin: Ok see you there. Loser. DISTANT Cousins Hahaha.
:Flashes to Labratory.:
Dr.McGroin: I am getting 300 Buckaroonis because i kidnapped you. I
can't belive it. This is so fantastic.
Seth: You'll never get away with this.
Dr.McGroin: I already have.
:Flashes to a Street.:
Joey: I love you, you love me. Where a happy family.
Strange Voice: Come here.
Joey: Ok.
Strange Voice: You like Candy? Then come on in.
Joey: Do I?
:Joey goes in.:
Dr.McGroin: Geeze that was as easy as Pammmmmmmmmmmm in the oven that
is so easy.
:Flashes back to Park:
Kenny: I wonder where Seth can be??
Randy: Hey Seth.
Seth: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPP
Kenny: YEEEEEEEES TEA IS GOOOD!!
Randy: That Seth. Well I think we could find him.
Roy: Seth we'll find in 48 Hours.
Kenny: I don't wanna wait a whole Week.
Amber: You guys are stupid arant cha?
Randy:That's what everybody says. But with all due respect miss, I'm
not the one crying over Seth.
Kenny: Red Head Right ahead.
Roy: It's Jack.
Jack: I got a concussion and 2 Broken Ribs.
Randy: I love ribs.
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