Thursday, April 5, 2007

KIDS OF AMERICA

I wrote a screenplay when I was 12 years old. I really thought it was good, when I was 12 years old. Apparently you realize how awful of a 12 year old writer you are right about now. I was just googling my name for hours. Like always and I stumbled upon this little bad boy, that I FORGOT I WROTE! So I didn't edit this at all, this is how I wrote it. No edits. This is raw!

Sean O'Connor's Kids of America

Kids of America

by
Sean O'Connor

Kids of America


(Scene opens to a Basketball court in the middle of a DriveWay. You
see one kid who is just passing the ball and one that's shooting. Then
steps in another who picks up the ball.)


Kenny: Hey Dudes.


Seth: Yo Duder.


Randy: Dudes, Stop it with the dudes.


Kenny:No Dude.


Seth: Dude. Dude, Dude stop it dude.


Randy: Narly Dude. But don't you think it would be cool if we ever
made it into Pro Sports.


Kenny: No. Dude.


Randy: Didn't you ever want to be in Sports Dude??


Seth: Yes, Yes, a long long time ago. When I was a young boy.


Kenny: Ok Dude. I'm gonna be like um... there.


Randy: If Garbage and Hootie And The Blowfish mixed together they
would be Hootie's Garbage is BloWFISH.


Seth: Otay. So is this what all normal kid's do?


Kenny: Well Dude, I don't know.


Randy: Of Course, were actually some of the smartest kids though.





Randy: Then again.


(Scene changes to a park)


Seth: Waz up Homeys??


Amber: Shut Up Seth.


Kenny: Did you know toast is hot??


Randy: Too Be or not To Be.. Thereforth a Fair Maide who stands there......


Seth: Where for my dout Romeo?


Amber: No.


Kenny: If my name began with a J I would be Jenny. Also if i was
purple I would be sick.


Seth:I got a 139 IQ.


Kenny: I got #1 IQ. I'm #1. I'm #1. Kenny RUlez.


Randy: Kenny Rulez.


Amber: Hey Seth wanna go to a Movie??


Seth: Would I??


Amber: That's what I want to know.


Seth: Your all morons. You are.


Jack: Super Dee Duper. Hey Hey My Fabuloso Peoples. I'm Buff, I'm The
Stuff, and Hey What's my line again.


Randy: Everybody's a Suspect. I Spy The Friendly Skies, In order to
have some pie. In the eye.

Kenny: Don't Lie.


Randy: I.. I.. Fly!!


Randy: Amber would you go out with me??


Amber: Um... No.


Randy: Lika Lika Lika OUCH!!


Kenny: Ouchie ouchie Tamagootchie!!


Randy:Woodstock Baby!! 3 Days of Mad Cool Rock and Roll and Shagadelic
VIbes Baby Yeah!!


Seth: You guys are stupid did you know that??


Both: Stupid Is as Stupid Does Sir.


Amber: Pyschos. Losers. Pure Losers.


Seth: Exactly, Exactly my point. Now that you 2 morons are occupied
how about we have a fiesta tonight.


Randy: Huh?


Kenny: The square root of 44 is 11 equaled into the isosles of a
square that turns into a angle.


Amber: Like um.. no. Like as if Kenny. Kenny you are such a moron like Whatever!


Randy: Hehe she said Az if. Alright Alicia.


Amber: You really think so.


Randy: Whatever.


Seth: Did you notice all of the people staring at us we've been
sitting here talk for like ever.








Tiffany: Like Hey, Amber.


Randy: Howdy Ho Tiffy.


Tiffany: Get away from ME Creep.


Kenny: Hey Sup Dude??


Tiffany: I am not a Dude. Do I look like a Dude I think not loser boy
get away from me. LOSER!!


Seth: Hey Tiffany.


Tiffany: Hey Seth. How can you hang with these dopes.


Randy: I am not a DRUG!! Leave me alone. I am Batman.


Kenny: I am Superman. Up Up and Away!!!


Randy: It's a Bird, It's a Plan It's Super DUDE Man. DUDE!!


Seth: I don't know I really don't know why I hang with them.


Kenny: Seth because me and you are buddys.


Randy: Budday. Budday. Budday.


Kenny: Budday Budday Stop It Budday. Are you my Budday Budday??


Randy: Budday.


Amber: ENOUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!


Randy: Ahhhhhhh!!!


Seth:


Amber: What??


Seth: Show Me!!


Tiffany: You know Amber, like we are going to taht party tonight. And
we must pick up Cici.


Amber: Like For Sure.


Randy: Yo Yo You Will All Respect My Authoriti!!


Tiffany: Ok. Feeling all right, Stop
taking so much Prozak.


Kenny: Party Party, Did somebody say Party?? And how come I didn't
hear about this??


Tiffany: Because you weren't invited.


Kenny & Randy: PLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSS

SSEEEEEEE??


Kenny: Ice Ice Baby Do Do Dood Do Do Do. Now Check It Spin It while my
DJ Recalls it.


Randy: You Got The Right Stuff Baby!!!


Tiffany & Amber: NEVER!! Oh like alright.





(Randy & Kenny was moonwalking through the crowds of people)


Seth: Kenny & Randy quit making fools of yourself.

Tiffany: That's what they do best.


Cici: Like Hi Tiffy and Amber. Hi Seth. What are they doing here??





Randy: X-Files Episode 209.


Kenny: No Definetly 101.


Randy: No it's the one where the Alien comes down to earth and kidnaps
Gillian Anderson.


Kenny: No. I'm right on this one it's 101. When David Duchovney
realizes he's a guy.


Randy: Good Point. Shall we move on.


Randy: Hey John.


John: Sup Randy.


Randy: Not your fly. Hehe.


Kenny: Sup Joey??


Joey: Nothin Homie.


Kenny: Step away. Are you Wyclef??


Joey: Heck no.


Randy: What's my motivation.


CiCi: TO Get The Out of my House you Loser.


Randy: WOW!!!


Kenny: YEA. Hear that language honey??


GIrl: Do I know you??


Kenny: NO!!!


Girl: Then get away from me upchuck.


Kenny: Love that name. Call me it again honey.


Girl: CALL 911 THIS PERV Won't Leave ME ALONE!!!


Randy: I know You Wanna Get With ME!!!


Tiff: Talk to the Hand.


Cici: Oh My Gawd. I can't believe these creeps. KLenny & Randy gotta go.


Randy: I don't gotta go to the bathroom.


Cici: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!


Kenny: She thinks she's an animal. I love this Game. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Randy: I know your a Chicken..


Kenny: No Stupid I'm a Dog. MOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Randy: Right Chickens go Rough Rough.


Seth: Hey Cici.


Cici: Like Hey Seth. You gotta get rid of those imbusles.


Seth: No can do.


Tiffany: Seth is looking FINE!!


Amber: Yuck!


Seth: Amber is Looking FINE!!!


Kenny: Yuck!!


Randy: Hey I think that she's pretty.


Seth: That's a card board cut-up.


Kenny: DIBS!!


Amber: I am going to ask that guy out.


Vinnie: Hey Hey CHick.


Amber: What's up??


Vinnie: Wanna dance??


Amber: Yea with that Cute Guy over there.





Amber: Hey Randy.


Randy: This is a Bunch of Tree Huggin Hippy Crap.


Amber: Randy sup??


Randy: I hate School.


Amber: Randy??


Randy: Hey Kenny.


Kenny: No your not getting it.








Randy: Stop Ouch. That hurts.


Kenny: Haha. Loser. It's all MINE ALL MINE. Right Seth??


Seth: huh??





Kenny: Hey.


Jamie: HiYa.


Kenny: Like you are cool.


Jamie: Like you are like cool too.


Joey: Hey Kenny remember when you puked 4th Grade:


Jamie: Bye.


Kenny: Remember when I kicked your butt.


Joey: No.


Kenny: How about now??





Seth: FIGHT!!!


Cici: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO not in my house.


Seth: Hehe COOL.


Randy: I've never seen this side of you Seth.


Seth: PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARTAY.


Amber: I think he's drunk.


Tiffany: He definetly is.


Kenny: Could be??


Randy: Might be.


Kenny: HOME RUN!!! He's drunk.


Tiffany: Geeze, I liked him too.


Seth: Hey guys don't you hate De Ja Vu??


Seth: Hey guys don't you hate De Ja Vu??


Kenny: Like so like what's up??








Kenny:Ummmmmm This taffy smells wonderful.


Amber: That's nice.




Randy: Hey I got an idea for a movie. "A girl mom dies, and she gets sad."


Tiffany: GET AWAY FROM ME!!


Kenny :Points in the air: DUDE THAT COULD WIN AN OSCAR! Man.


Randy: Hey CIci.


Cici: Step away.


Randy: Please like I just need to know where the bathroom is?


Cici: That's it get OUT OF MY PARTY!! YOU AND KENNY!!!


Kenny: What??


:People all staring at them:


Both: We Know What Your Thinking. Were not gonna do what we all think
were gonna do. FLIPPPPP OUT MAAAAN!!! :Going nuts:


Randy: Now Who's Coming with US?? WHO'S COMING WITH
US?? C'mon Who is COming With Us??


:Some girl rasies her hand:


Kenny: Thank You Whatever Your name Is? Thank You.


Jennifer: Like Would you go out with me?


Kenny: NOPE I'm A Homo A BIG ONE!!!


Jennifer: Ewww!!


KENNY: WHO ELSE IS COMING WITH US??


:Some gay guy raises his hand:


Randy: You don't qualify Gay Guy. WHo Else Is COming With Us??


:They all start partying again.:


Kenny: Talk about your all time biggest backfires.


Randy: I feel unwanted :(


Kenny: Where's Seth??


Randy: Don't know don't care.


Kenny: He went to the other side.


Randy: The Dark Side.


Kenny: Wanna go home and go on America online??


Randy: Sure why not? I hear that Bigbuns11 is in Teen Chat 101.


Kenny: Oh Yea Sweet buns!!


Randy: Bill Clinton called Monica Lewinsky that.


Kenny: Dude that's not in the script.





Kenny: Hmmm that's intresting. I gotta do WHAT???


Randy: Yea it is. Oh No that's when I get a......... Arrested.


Kenny: And yea and that's when I got Lay's Potato Chips You Can't Just Eat One.


Randy: That's a good chip





Amber: You guys haven't left yet??


Randy: We don't have any money or transportation and a Monkey stole my Pants!!


Kenny: The monkey ain't going near dese babies!!


Amber: That's because your wereing nothing.


Amber: Randy I'll get you pants.


Randy: Man I felt the pretty breeze.


AmbeR: Sickness.


Kenny: Puking.


Randy: Hurling.


AmbeR: Disgusting both of you. Better clean up your acts.


Kenny: We take Showers. At least one of us does.


Randy: That can not be proven in a court of law. My Dawg, Yea that's
it crawled all over these shorts. Yea that's it.





Kenny: Welcome to Jurassic Park, Tiffany!!


Tiffany: Welcome to my Foot in your nuts.





Randy: Haha.





Randy: MY NUTS.


Kenny: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!


Randy: Dork!!


Kenny: She kicked us in the JUNK!!


Amber: Losers.


Tiffany: When are they gonna learn that girls rule??


Randy: (British Accent) Girl Power!! Spice Girls. I am so Sporty!! Emma!


Kenny: (In British Accent) I am too Posh. Girl Power fight for your
liberal rights.


Amber: They are so stupid.


Randy: No were not.


Kenny: I didn't spend 7 Years in Kindergarten because I WAS STUPID!!!


Randy: Kenny you didn't spend 7 years in Kindergarten.


Kenny: Shut up Randy.


Tiffany: Why don't we go get those hot guys in there to dance with us?


Randy: Do you have to mention in there??


Tiffany: Can we go IN THERE??


Randy: Don't care. One day oh yes I will meet Jim Breuer.


Amber: Weirdo.


Kenny: Weirdo.


Randy: Weirdo.


Tiffany: Dorks.


Kenny: You ruined it.

Tiffany: So what?





Randy: Look who it is? It's SETH.


Kenny: Hey Trader. Oops I mean Seth.


Randy: Good one.


Seth: I was just chillen inside for a lil'.


Randy: OK Busta Ryhmes!!


Kenny: Seth you hate us right?


Randy: WHY?


Kenny: WHY?


Seth: No why?


Kenny: Just felt like saying WHY!!


Seth: I outtie Yo.


:Party scene ends:





Roy: Hey guys.


Kenny: Hey.


Roy: What's wrong with Randy?


Kenny: Randy's X-Files Calender Surprisingly Disappeared.


Randy: Man.


Roy: Oh Man good thing I got mine all nice and snuggled.


Randy: Ahhhh!!


Kenny: Poor thing.


Roy: Have you seen Seth?


Kenny: Not since the parrrrrrrrrrtaaaaaaaaay!!


Randy: I saw him leave in a STRAAAAAAAANGE Black Van. Never saw it
before. And I think he has my calender.


Roy: Hmmmm..... Let's try to look for him. Ahhh he's probaly sleeping.


Jack: Hey guys.


Jack: What was the emergency?


Kenny: Jack what's with the PJ's?


Jack: Hey I didn't come here to get made fun of.


Randy: Jack, Why don't you go home to get changed.


:Jack starts running.:





:Roy, Kenny and Randy run over to him:


Kenny: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!


Roy: WHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?


Randy: Hehe Cool.


Roy: Jack you alright? That seemed like it hurt.


Jack: Mommy I don't wanna go to school I didn't do my homework.


Randy: Duh!! He tells his mom he doesn't do his homework he's a bad liar.


Kenny: Shut Up Dude. He might have broken a nail.


Jack: Dude I am alright.


:Phone rings.:


Roy: Hello.


Strange Voice: I'm not interupting anything am I?


Roy: Randy umm.. it's for you.


Randy: Umm.. Hello.


Strange Voice: Do you know who this is?


Randy: Umm.. Could it be Lamb Chop? You finally returned my letters
and stuff. Thank You.


Strange Voice: We got your friend. He'll be dead in less then 48 Hours
if you don't give us the Card.


Randy: What Card?


Strange Voice: YOUR Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card.


Randy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Roy you take it. :Crying:


Roy: Listen up, Dork. Don't threaten my friends.


Seth: Oooooowwwwwwww!! He's got me. Give him all he wants.


Strange Voice: Meet me at the Beach at 12. In 48 Hours.


:Amber, Tiffany, and CiCi walk over.:


Amber: What happened to Randy? He is like in tears.


Randy: They want my Ken Griffey Jr. Rookie Card. Who cares about Seth?


Tiffany: Where's Seth?


Roy: He's been kidnapped.


Kenny: We gotta find him.


:FLashes over to The Evil Doctor's Lair.:


Dr.McGroin: Haha I knew it would work. Now I would get the Card. And I
can sell it for 1 billion dollars. Hahaha. Seth why aren't you touchin
your food. It's only Macaroni and RATS.


Seth: Dude let me go and I'll get you a Griffey Rookie.


Dr.McGroin: I don't want yours. I want. I want.


Seth: You don't know what you want.


Dr.McGroin: So. I want money. Money money. I love money. And Seth you
will attract alot of that.


:Flashes back to the park.:


TIffany: *69.


Amber: Hello is like Seth there?


Dr.McGroin: Yes he is.


Kenny: I want Seth back you dirty little......


Amber: Mr...


Dr.McGroin: My name Holden. Holden McGroin and you call me Mr. I
didn't spend 7 Years in Medical School to be called Mr.


Amber: Sorry, I just wanted to know. Can we give you money for you to
release Seth?


Roy: Let me talk to Holden McGroin. Hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahhahaha.


Dr.McGroin: Oh if it isn't the Next Sherlock Holmes Roy Zario. Roy I
am familiar with your work. Like the time you found out I blew up the
whole darn City. Roy for only 13 Years old you are smart. But this ia
my smartest move yet. Hahaha.


Roy: Listen up Holden. I hate you and you hate me. But I know Seth we
are cousins. I am not gonna let you take him away. Now I will give you
300 dollers for him back. Now you better do it or your dead.


Dr.McGroin: Ok see you there. Loser. DISTANT Cousins Hahaha.


:Flashes to Labratory.:


Dr.McGroin: I am getting 300 Buckaroonis because i kidnapped you. I
can't belive it. This is so fantastic.


Seth: You'll never get away with this.


Dr.McGroin: I already have.


:Flashes to a Street.:


Joey: I love you, you love me. Where a happy family.


Strange Voice: Come here.


Joey: Ok.


Strange Voice: You like Candy? Then come on in.


Joey: Do I?


:Joey goes in.:


Dr.McGroin: Geeze that was as easy as Pammmmmmmmmmmm in the oven that
is so easy.


:Flashes back to Park:


Kenny: I wonder where Seth can be??





Randy: Hey Seth.


Seth: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP MEEEEEEEE!!!


Kenny: YEEEEEEEES TEA IS GOOOD!!


Randy: That Seth. Well I think we could find him.


Roy: Seth we'll find in 48 Hours.


Kenny: I don't wanna wait a whole Week.


Amber: You guys are stupid arant cha?


Randy:That's what everybody says. But with all due respect miss, I'm
not the one crying over Seth.


Kenny: Red Head Right ahead.


Roy: It's Jack.


Jack: I got a concussion and 2 Broken Ribs.


Randy: I love ribs.

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